Hello! And an Introduction

I had no idea the difference 11 pounds and a healthier diet could make. Just one month ago I was depressed and tired all of the time. I had headaches every night and occasional bouts of vertigo at work. I was irritable and unhappy with myself. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I thought I ate healthy enough. I mean, I did snack ... a lot. And I did eat from fast food restaurants once or twice a week when my husband didn't want to cook. And then there were the Diet Cokes I had to have with lunch, when I got home from work and again at dinner. But I liked to eat apples for breakfast and we tried to have at least one course of vegetables a day. I really thought that in the grand scheme of things, I was doing pretty good.

I knew that I had gained some weight over the years. In high school the absolute MOST I ever weighed was a whopping 117 pounds, thanks to the slew of sports I participated in and a naturally petite frame. During my four years in college I gained about six or seven pounds, which I attribute to not knowing how to cook anything except variations of macaroni and cheese. I also wasn't nearly as active as I had been in high school, but I still walked or biked almost everywhere I went and went through a phase of lap swimming every afternoon, and that helped keep me to a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index).

It wasn't until I graduated and got a job sitting at a desk for eight hours a day that my weight ballooned. I went from about 125 pounds to ... well, I didn't know. I didn't own a scale. I still felt skinny, even though I could see a little more pudge around my face. And I still fit into most of the hand-me-down clothes that my 135 pound sister gave me. So I figured my weight was around that. Not too bad, really.

Then we got the scale.

At first, I was scared to step onto it. The cold gleam of the metal and the dose of reality it promised was too intimidating for me. I shunned it, ignored it, tried to pretend it didn't exist.

One day, my pants didn't fit. In fact, nothing really fit. And it wasn't just one day. It was every day. My self esteem was plummeting. I felt like the ugliest person in the whole world. I stopped wanting to go out in case someone saw me. While my husband still loved me and told me I was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen, I didn't believe him. I didn't want him to see me. I undressed in the dark. I locked the bathroom door when I took a shower. I hated myself.

One morning I thought, "I'll just do. I'll step on the scale and see how much I really weigh. It will be good to know." And I did it. And I was shocked. Mortified. I have never told anyone what exactly that scale said. I told my husband it said 135 pounds. I told my mother it said 140 pounds. I told myself that something had to change.

The scale said 148 pounds. One hundred and forty-eight. Just two pounds away from 150. How?! How did the petite 117 pound girl gain 31 pounds?? And how, more importantly, could she lose it?

I decided to join Weight Watchers Online a month ago. The membership fee was my 25th birthday present from my mom and even though she has worried that it was a bad gift, so far it has been the best thing to happen to me (besides all that other important stuff, like marrying my husband or graduating from college.) Not only did I decide to lose weight by following the WW Points plan, I decided to eat really healthy. No more fast food, less meat, more skim milk, fat-free condiments, whole wheat breads and flours and lots and lots of veggies. In the heat of the moment, my cupboards overflowing with pumpkin seeds and beans, vegetables and fruits, I also decided to drink less of my beloved Diet Coke. I knew about the negative effects of aspartame (headaches, vertigo, fatigue, irritability ... basically everything I was feeling all of the time) and felt that if I was trying to improve my life then I had to get rid of the soda. For three weeks I've stuck to a limit of one soda a day at lunch. Hopefully one day I'll drink even less than that. I've been drinking my 8 cups of water a day instead (even though it's a real chore, I have to admit. Water just doesn't taste very good after awhile) and I've really noticed a difference. No more headaches, no more vertigo and a whole lot less irritability.

I've lost 11 pounds so far. My old clothes are fitting again and I'm feeling so much better about myself. I've discovered new foods I really like (and that are also very good for me) and I'm getting out and active again. This is a journey though, and I've still got 17 pounds to loose until I reach my goal weight of 120 pounds. I wanted to share what I'm going through both for the accountability it will give me, and hopefully to inspire others (like my mom!) to do the same.